Single & Happy on My Birthday…Again!!

Yep, I said it. Another year older, another year wiser, single, and happier than ever!

If that’s surprising to you, I totally get it. Last year was the first year I ever experienced being single and happy on my birthday. Every year before that I dreaded my birthday. It was another reminder that time cared nothing about my failed attempts or my clearly mapped out timeline for my life. Back then it was, “another year older, another failed relationship, another unfulfilling career change.”

Despite my best laid plans to achieve the American Dream: two story house, white picket fence, 3.5 kids, happily married with a money tree growing in the back, all by 25; I kept falling short. Time would sneak up on me every year; mocking me with images of my counterparts successfully achieving everything on their American Dream checklist. Then there was me…miserable and still trying to figure everything out.

But not last year. Not this year either. No I still haven’t achieved that American Dream yet. In fact, I’ve found myself single again with no prospects in sight. And not just on any birthday, but the big 3-0. According to most people I should be sobbing in a gallon of ice cream.

So what’s different this year?

Short answer: me.

My outlook and mindset has completely changed. Before I was bogged down with all the what ifs and why not me’s. But now I’m consumed with what’s next and the I can’t waits!

The truth is we don’t know what life has in store for us. We don’t know why our timelines don’t work out how we planned or why we haven’t met the one yet. What we do know is everything can change in an instant. The magic of being blessed with another year is that it’s filled with possibilities.

I changed the way I looked at things. I changed my focus. I committed to doing the personal work to be at peace with myself, and my past, and where I am in this moment. Am I where I want to be? No. Do I believe it’s coming? Yes. Am I happy, whole, and sublimely happy in the meantime? YES!!

I stopped letting what I have or have not achieved define me. I finally realized that you can’t be so focused on achieving that ‘happily ever after’ that you miss out on ever being happy right now. In my work as a life coach I’ve met people in their 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s who’ve never taken the time to develop themselves, love themselves, or focus on themselves. They’ve spent their whole life chasing ‘the one’ and they’ve missed the whole point of this season. And because of that, they’re still single and miserable.

 

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I refuse. I refuse to waste another moment not living my life to it’s fullest. If God calls me home today I will be able to stand in front of him confident that I was obedient to what he wanted me to do, and I made the most of this life that he gave me. Because I would love to be married, but if a husband is not destined for me, does that mean that my life is a waste or I shouldn’t appreciate it? NO!

In this moment as I approach being a 30 year old single woman with no kids, in a world where the essence of a woman is defined by having those things in your 20’s, I have the greatest peace I’ve ever known. The love I have for myself, the hope I have for my future, the fulfillment I have in today, and the faith that I have in God is making this the best birthday yet!

And I say all that to say, it’s possible for you. If you’ve been struggling with being single, change your mindset and change your focus. Understand that you are here for a purpose and you are going through this season for a purpose. Have faith that God knows what he is doing and trust the process. If you feel like this process is taking longer than it should, maybe you’re not equipped with the right things to get you where you want to be. To receive the blessings you’re praying for, you have to be positioned and prepared to receive them.

That’s where I am; working on positioning and preparing myself for the relationship I’ve been praying for. And I’m content doing it. I pray the same for you.

If you’re interested in increasing the joy in your life while you’re still single, apply for a complimentary self discovery call with me! I’d love to chat with you 🙂

kendram86

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