Increase Your Happiness Now!

Since my last blog post I’ve gotten some questions about how to increase your happiness while you’re still single. How I did it and how you can too. That prompted me to do a conference call to share some tips on that topic, and it was very well received. So I wanted to do a post about it.

Being happy during this season is so important for so many reasons. You life right now sets the foundation for the relationship that you’re praying for. And I understand that being open to living your best life now can be difficult for some.

Through my experience working with singles there are 5 big things that can be done right now to start increasing your happiness. And while this post is solely about you and your happiness, all of these things play a part in making the most of your single season, which is what sets you on the path to meeting the one God has for you.

So during this season be sure to…

1 – Shift Your Focus

When you constantly focus on the negative or the one thing that’s missing in your life, you neglect everything else. It blocks you from seeing and appreciating all that you do have. In general focusing on the fact that you’re still single is a waste of time. There is a purpose for this season and that’s where your focus should be. Shift your focus to how grateful you are for all the things you have. Make a gratitude list that encompasses all the things you’re grateful for. (*Hint: this list should be long). When you wake up in the morning, say 5-10 things that you’re grateful for. Whether it’s waking up, your job, your health, or things that you are claiming like that promotion, that divine connection, or that supernatural increase. During this season your focus should be on you. And if you don’t feel like you have much to be grateful for…you should start fixing that first before worrying about a man.

2 – Change Your Mindset

Changing your mindset and shifting your focus sound similar, and they do work hand-in-hand, but they are different. Shifting your focus is more about putting more energy into gratitude than into what you’re lacking. While changing your mindset is more about actively unlearning those negative things you tell yourself, and replacing the with positive truths. For example, I always hear singles say things like, “I’ll never find a good man.” When you say this out loud and you repeat in your mind over and over again, it becomes you mindset. That’s essentially all a mindset is: repeated thoughts and assumptions that turn into ways of thinking that directly affect your life. Often people’s mindsets have come from years of repetition. So you have to be intentional about changing them and it will take repetition to fix it. So instead of saying, “I’ll never find a good man”, you should replace that with saying something like, “God is preparing someone special for me.” I have a whole blog about this topic just for you if you really want to change your mindsets. This is one way to really release some negativity, and start pouring into your happiness.

3 – Forgive & Let Go

So many people are holding on to old situations and relationships. While forgiveness can be tough, it’s so important for you to work through it. Ask God to help you to forgive so that you can move on. The forgiveness is not for the other person. I’ve heard several times that they don’t believe the person deserves to be forgiven or they haven’t even apologized so why should you forgive them. Because it’s not for them…it’s for you. Holding on to that anger and resentment only affects your life. It’s blocking your happiness and your blessings, not their’s. I know you’ve been through some tough things, some things you didn’t deserve, but it’s time to work through those issues and move forward. That’s a big part of this season. God wants you to work through the hurt and address all the pain and insecurities now so you don’t drag that into your relationship. Pray and ask God to help you to forgive those people you’re holding anything against. That includes yourself. It’s time to lay that burden down.

Getting over breakup

4 – Pursue Your Purpose

This is a big key in truly being happy, during any season, but especially during your single season. This is important for several reasons. Primarily because when you are operating in your purpose, you will have a level of joy that you haven’t had before. Because your purpose was specifically designed for you, pursuing it will put inline with God’s will for your life and that can bring a joy and peace like no other. A lot of people are unhappy because they are fighting against the will for their life. This is also important because it helps to shift your focus. When you are focused on getting your goals and dreams accomplished, it leaves little room to dwell on your relationship status. This is where your focus should be. This is also important for your single season because  your purpose can complete change your life. If God tells you that your purpose is to do missionary work all over the world, that’s something you’d want to know before you get married. Because if you’re dating the wrong person, that can hold you back from pursuing your purpose. The one you’re meant to be with will encourage you and help you grow in that purpose, not hold you back. That’s why it’s important to start working in, pursuing, or at least praying about your pursue now while you are single.

5 – Nurture Your Relationship With God

This is the first and most important relationship you should be nurturing. God loved you first. When you focus on him and his word, it gives you a peace that only he can give you. For my life he is the guiding force. I ask his opinion, I incorporate him into my life, I listen for his response, I read the bible, I journal and write out my prayers. He is a major part of my day to day life. And he is the reason I am so happy. He’s the reason I’m pursuing my purpose, and living my life to the fullest, and why I’m so positive. I know that he’s working things out for me. I see it everyday. I get blessed every single day. The joy I have is only because I decided I needed to date the Lord first. He had, and still has, my undivided attention. Because that’s what he wants during this single season. The Bible says that once I’m married my focus will be on my husband’s and family’s needs, but while I’m single I can focus only what God wants for me. And I assure, what he wants is way better than anything I can put together.

If you are struggling during this season or you’re just looking to increase the happiness you already have, I encourage you to work on these 5 areas. I promise you that your joy and your peace will grow.

If you are interested in listening to that free conference call I did, where I also shared a bonus 6th way to increase your happiness, you can sign up here and I will send you a link to the recording.


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