Getting Over Breakups

I know it can be difficult to get over a breakup. It’s easy to say everything happens for a reason, you’re better off, God has something better for you, etc…. But it’s hard to see the forest for the trees when you’re hurting. So what’s the resolve? What do you do now? What do you do when the life you had planned walks out the door?

Starting over is never easy. But it can be done. God will meet you where you are. As a matter of fact, he’s already there. You can’t see it now but there is a purpose for everything. If you have been praying for a husband or for your situation to be fixed, and they left instead? Thank God for closing that door. He can’t bless you with who you’re meant to be with if you’re holding on to something that was only meant for a season.

There are times when we get so caught up in what we want and thinking that we know what that is, that we miss out on what God has for us. If someone is willing to walk away from you, let them go. It will hurt at first and if you have to cry, cry. Get down before the Lord, cry and tell him what’s on your heart. Be honest. He already knows anyway. Express yourself fully and completely. Say all the things you couldn’t or wouldn’t say to that person. Share your hurt, confusion, disappointment, and regret. Get your feelings out and pray for strength and guidance. Pray for peace of mind that this is all apart of his plan.¬†Grieve, but don’t dwell. You have to go through the healing process, but you just can’t stay there. Dealing with what happened and acknowledging how you feel about it is important. But you¬†have to keep moving through the process.

One part of that process is forgiveness. This can be challenging. Talk through forgiving them. Ask God for help forgiving them for what they’ve done to you or how they made you feel. If you need to write it down to get it all out, do that. For me things will continue to feel unresolved if I don’t get everything out. So I write it down. Every thing that hurt me, every time I cried, every situation that I’m holding on to; I get it out one final time. Purge onto the paper. Then ask God to help you forgive. What did Jesus say as he was on the cross? “Forgive them father, for they know not what they do.” Often times, that’s the case. They don’t know the extent of the damage they are doing. But the forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Ask God to help you forgive because you don’t want to be trapped any longer. You deserve happiness and love and peace of mind. You want to be freed from that mental and emotional bondage that comes with unforgiveness. Holding on to that can eat you up inside and block your blessings.

In addition to forgiving them, you need to forgive yourself. Ask God to help you forgive yourself for anything that you’ve done. Too often we hold ourselves hostage because of decisions, or actions we did. We blame ourselves for the way things went. What if I hadn’t said that? What if I were better? What if I had done things differently? You have to forgive yourself. Remove those negative thoughts and feelings you have about yourself.

If the breakup is making you doubt yourself, take some time to reinforce who you are. In the throws of losing someone we can become disheartened and begin to place blame. Sometimes we place blame on them, and sometimes we place it on ourselves. They left because I’m not good enough. They left because they didn’t think I’d be a good wife. They didn’t want me. Stop those thoughts in their tracks. If that door was closed it’s because it’s meant to be closed. As we grow and the seasons of our lives change, people will leave. It’s the pruning process. In order for you to grow and become the person you’re meant to be, somethings and some people will need to leave you. Maybe they were holding you back. In no way should that make you doubt yourself. So as often as you need to, repeat phrases like these:

I am love.

I am worth love.

I am worthy.

I am beautiful.

I am blessed.

I was handmade with purpose.

I am more than enough for the one that’s meant to love me.

Greater is he that is in me, than is in this world.

Repeat these phrases and anything else that God puts on your heart. That relationship didn’t define you and neither will this break up. You are stronger than you know. Tap into your source. God will bring you through this. Keep praying. Keep pushing. Keep praising. If someone left, that means you’re that much closer to the one. Thank God for divine mate now. Thank the person who left for aiding in God’s plan and moving you closer to your happily ever after. (You don’t actually have to thank them. This is really more of a personal exercise. Just to clarify, haha.)

And while we’re laughing: SMILE! Once you’ve worked through the forgiveness, and moved past the pain, and you’ve connected with God, smile! The enemy wants to keep you depressed and crying as long as possible. He knows that you weren’t meant to be with that person, but if he can keep you sad and holding on that will keep you from your happiness too. So smile and be happy and praise the Lord. Even if it’s half-hearted and empty at first. It will become real. The joy will follow. Tell the enemy he can’t have your joy. You are going to get through this and be even better than before. Even if it doesn’t feel like it now. Keep pushing forward. In the end, God’s love is all you need.

kendram86

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